The Big Picture

… oh, wait, it is a poke in the eye!

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You’ve heard the expression, it beats a poke in the eye? Well, after the cataract surgery on my left eye yesterday, I can safely say that there are a whole world of things out there that beat a poke in the eye.

Golly but that smarts!

I didn’t expect it to be fun and games but I have to admit that I wasn’t prepared for how sore my eye was going to be. It’s finally down to only a twinge here and there so, all things considered, it wasn’t really too awful. It’s a good thing too, otherwise, there would be a bunch of folks wandering around permanently with only one eye free of cataracts.

The best thing about the whole ordeal is that I can see with my left eye without glasses or contacts. I can even read small print. Not tiny print, not yet, but chances are, I’ll get there too.

Now, the scoop (no pun intended, well maybe a little one) on cataract surgery …

First, they set you up with oxygen

I have to say I’m not a big fan of that. It makes you a bit light-headed and I had to ask them to turn it down a bit because, at first, it was like having a fan blowing up my nose. Too much of a good thing and hard to breathe it all in.

Then comes the eye drops

… about a gazillion of them.They keep those babies coming for about an hour to make sure your eyeball can feel no pain. That’s a good thing in my book.

Followed by the duct tape

What, you didn’t know your eyeballs are secured with duct tape?  Just kidding! When the eye can feel no pain, they wheel you into the op room. You’re awake during this procedure and they have to make sure you don’t move around during it so they wedge your arms in next to your sides and then tape your head to the table. It’s probably not really duct tape. It’s probably just some really expensive version of it. Okay! I didn’t actually see the tape but it sure sounded like duct tape when they peeled a big strip of it off that roll.

And then, the poke in the eye

Next, they put a clear plastic cover over your face leaving only a small hole where your eye is. Then they poke a small slit in your eye, suck out the old lens, pop in a new one, and wham-bam  you’re done. The surgery itself takes less than 10 minutes. Yep, it’s a quickie.

The black hole

There is just a few moments, before the new lens is implanted, when you are blind in that eye. That is by far the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had. The light just disappears. Total blackness. That was very disconcerting to me and frightening. Fortunately, though, they had given me a strong enough tranquilizer to keep panic from taking over during that blackout.

The bitter end

The buzz from all that oxygen and tranquilizers lasts for maybe half an hour. Then they push you out the door with a whole bunch of instructions about eye drops and you’re on you own.

It pays to be prepared

I watched a couple of cataract removal videos on YouTube a few days before the procedure so was prepared for what would happen. If I hadn’t done that, I’m pretty sure no amount of fuzzy brain stuff on the planet would have kept me from having a panic attack when they came at my face with that plastic.

If you want to watch some of them on YouTube, click here. (NOTE: If you’re the squeamish type, don’t watch these videos.)

Aren’t they fascinating? No? Oh, well.

Momma told me not to …

The funny thing about this little adventure is that a lot of things happen that your mom told you to never do. For instance:

  • Never take drugs from strangers
  • Never put a plastic bag over your head
  • Never, ever, poke your eye with a sharp instrument

Now, isn’t that ironic? The very things your mom says never do and what to you do? You go out and pay somebody to do those same things.

What a silly, silly world in which we live.

A big THANK YOU to my sister for driving me to and from.

You can read her version of this adventure here. (I may never forgive her for those pics.)

What’s up with the new look!

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I’ve wasted a good part of the afternoon changing the look of my blog.

Can you tell a difference?

Maybe not.

You probably don’t remember that it had a pale apple green border with a pic of roses from my garden at the top … yes, no?

Doesn’t matter.

You see, I’m torn. I like it okay … for today and maybe another day or two (my guess is that I’ll be right back to the same-old same-old soon enough). Aside from that, I can’t tell if it’s really fuzzy or that my eyes (cataract surgery is in May, yahoo!) are just seeing it fuzzy.

So, why did it take so long to get the new look together?

Once upon a time I was a graphics designer — way back when it was all cut and paste — so every now and then I can’t resist the urge to dabble a bit. I have all the mod cons for today’s world of graphics, including: a MAC, PhotoShop, InDesign, etc.

I am not, however, so hot at using them.

Sigh.

I get caught up in all kinds of quirks in the software and it takes me forever to get the job done. For example, this new image was a combination of Word, InDesign, and Photoshop.

Word? Long story. Forget I said that.

What matters is what you think of it.

Do you like the new look? Hate the new look? Don’t give a big rat’s …

Let’s take a poll!

My Top Three Stress Busters!

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I was just reading a great post about dealing with stress from Truth and Cake* (don’t you just love that blog title) and was about to post a comment but decided to share my recipes for stress busting here instead. So, without further ado, this is my list of top 3 stress busters:

Slamming kitchen cabinet doors:

Whenever I had a stressful day (I was an HR Director so it happened a lot) I’d come home and go through my kitchen opening and slamming shut every kitchen cabinet door. Besides eradicating my stressful day I learned things, too. For example:

  • Upper cabinet doors slam the most satisfactorily;
  • Don’t stand too close ’cause they can bounce back open and jam your finger; and
  • It pays in the long run to invest in solid wood cabinets with good hinges.

Cursing while driving:

Why let all that frustration from dealing with traffic build up and explode all over everybody at work or home. Go ahead and let loose with a few of your favorite expletives directed at the Neanderthal who just cut you off on the interstate or freeway. After all, he or she is the one who deserves it. One caveat, though, keep your windows rolled up … way up.

Breaking ridiculously inane rules:

Some rules are just made to be broken. For example, your employer moves everyone into a new office space and some admin-type dispenses rules about keeping the red and gray (z-z-z-z) decor pristine. One rule is that nothing can be tacked up on the cubicle walls … no phone lists, no pics, nothing! That lasts about a month then a new rule comes from on high that says “things” can be posted on cube walls as long as they’re neatly placed … and only clear push pins can be used. So, what’s the stress buster? Yep, you guessed it … multi-colored push pins.

So, there you have it. Don’t let stress ruin your day, much less your life. Deal with it — head on. Bite the bullet or wring the neck instead of your hands. And then, as The Eagles so wisely sang …

*A big old THANKS to Truth and Cake for inspiring this post! You can check out her blog here.