Milk Colored Glasses

Years ago, my ophthalmologist told me I have something called corneal haze. Over the years it’s not gotten better, but it’s also not gotten worse. I guess the best way to describe it is to say it’s sort of like looking through a thin layer of teeny tiny milk spots.

Photo credit, Kemal Gökçe.

Corneal haze is the term I remember him using but that may be more the way he explained it than what it actually is — corneal dystrophy — which is abnormal material accumulating in the clear outer layer(s) of the eye. (That outer layer is the cornea, in case you’re wondering.) (You can’t catch it because it’s genetic, in case you’re wondering about that, too.)

Unfortunately for me, though, it may be the one thing that keeps me from being able to have my cataract laden biological lenses replaced with shiny new synthetic multi focal lenses. (At least I think that’s it, though it could have been something else entirely, you know how docs ramble, or maybe it’s my brain that does the rambling.) The key word here is multi focal. They can be replaced with single focus lenses but I’ll still need glasses to read. (Kind of a bummer if you ask me.)

Leave it to me to have spots on the outside layer of my eyes as well as spots on the inside of them. No wonder I like polka-dotted fabric so much — it fits right in!

Back to topic …

Photo credit, Wikipedia.

Looking on the bright side, I’ll still be able to have the cataracts removed and only have to wear glasses part of the time. Doc is checking with a specialist to see if any new developments with multi focal lenses make them still be an option for me. I’m not getting my hopes up. We’ll see. And that, when it comes right down to it, is the most important thing — I’ll still see, only better.

If it’s really not an option, at least I won’t have to pay a small fortune to keep from having reading glasses that are as thick as coke bottle bottoms. My new glasses prescription will be much, much less strong (I think that made sense) so they’ll be more affordable. So, it’s all good! Well, mostly.

Photo credit, Kemal Gökçe.

Now, the big question is — what kind of reading glasses should I get?

How about skinny red rectangles? No?

Hmmm, how about round wire frames, ala John Lennon? No?

I’ve got it! Cat eyes — with rhinestones! Nah!

Who am I kidding? It’ll be right back to where I started — with the skinniest, oval, frameless, granny glasses I can find.

Yep, that’s me!

Here a Peep, there a Peep, everywhere a Peep-Peep!

Posted by goodoldgirl

Wall O' Peeps (Photo credit: urtica)

I was reading a Freshly Pressed blog about Peeps and it got me started thinking about seasonal candy and how it seems to have taken over store shelves — not to mention my life. The more I thought about it the more I realized that it’s time to take a stand — I’m not a fan of Peeps. There! I said it.

When it comes to chocolate covered marshmallow eggs, though, now that’s a whole different obsession.

For awhile I bought into the theory that seasonal candy was not bad for you. (Now, I just buy it without wasting time thinking about it.)

I mean it only comes around once a year, right?

Wrong! Seems like it’s always some season or other that brings — you guessed it — candy. Half the year is candy season!

Candy? (Photo credit: KyuubiTamer)

Not convinced, let’s take a quick look …

It starts with Halloween. Candy, candy, and more candy.

No sooner do we get past that calorie laden fiasco than “the holidays” are upon us and the candy just explodes all over the place. There’s peppermint candy canes, and fudge with nuts, and fudge without nuts, and divinity, and, my personal favorite, chocolate covered cherries. Yum!

Just when I feel grateful for surviving another year’s candy laden holiday season, here comes Valentine’s Day followed closely by St Patrick’s Day, chocolate shamrocks and all.

Right on the heels of Cupid‘s favorite holiday comes Easter with chocolate bunnies, chocolate eggs, and Peeps!

So whose fault is this?

I blame it on Hershey. You see, they nabbed me years ago when they started putting Hershey’s Kisses in different color wrappers. I can’t resist them.

Hershey's Kisses (Photo Credit: Wikipedia)

I love the little Halloween Kisses in their Fall colored wrappers and Christmas Kisses in their red and green wrappers. And, let’s not forget the red and silver wrappers for Valentine’s Day and — for Easter — the pastels.

I am convinced that if they’d stop with the holiday wrappers, I could go the rest of my life without eating a single Hershey’s Kisses.

That doesn’t mean I would give up chocolate covered marshmallow eggs or chocolate covered cherries.

I’m not completely nuts!

Mom is leaving …

Posted by goodoldgirl

A single point has guided me throughout my life. A single voice in my head that has kept me on the straight and narrow through times when I couldn’t see two feet in front of me, much less what’s around the bend.

My mom.

She has been the strongest influence on my life, though most times I chafe at admitting it. Her strength of character and determination have seen her through many, many difficult trials — from the loss of an infant daughter to a shattered marriage some fifteen years later. Yet, she remained strong. She never gave up, no matter how difficult the challenge or risky the outcome.

She is my rock.

My mom has Alzheimer’s and is leaving us, slowly, day by day. She’s in the early to mid stage so still knows who we are but, sooner or later, she won’t and I think it will break my heart. So much so that, in moments of weakness, I wish one of us would be released from this crazy world, and it doesn’t matter which one. I know that sounds awful, but the thought of Mom becoming lost to me makes me sad beyond having words to describe it — and angry, very angry.

Throughout her 83 years, she has relied only on herself to see her and her children over life’s hurdles. She is the only person I have ever known who will always tell me when I’m wrong or making a mistake. Her love, though quiet and somewhat reserved, is always there, for now. When she is lost to me, it will be lost to me as well.

Over the years, Mom and I have often not “gotten along.” I guess it’s because we are so much alike that it causes friction. I’m as stubborn as she is and as determined to make my own way in this screwed up world. We don’t talk a lot and seem to find it difficult to chat. Small talk isn’t part of our pattern — Scrabble is our thing. We can get into deep conversations over a Scrabble board and I’ve learned more about my mom while playing Scrabble than I ever dreamed possible. I cherish every game we play.

Mom lives with my sister and for that I am truly grateful. I don’t know how she does it, day in and day out, watching Mom fade away. I just know I couldn’t. It’s hard enough to see just when I visit.

Thank you, Jan — for all that you do to keep our mom safe. For taking care of her every need. For being her rock. I hope that someday, though I’m not sure how, I’ll be able to return the favor.