Miscellaneous

Karma – It’s a Wicked Thing!

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Sitting here thinking about what to blog about.

I already milked my cataract surgery for all it’s worth so time to move on to something at least halfway interesting that doesn’t include body parts or involve a book review but can’t think of a thing.

Nope, not a thing.

Don’t you just hate when that happens?

You sit in front of the keyboard with your fingers desperate to type but there’s absolutely nothing floating around in your pea brain that’s fit to share with the rest of the world. At times like these, you suffer for your art in a way that only the truly devoted can understand. All you want to do is tap, tap, tap on those keys but not a thing pops into your head.

Blog writing 101

A friend gave me a book a few years ago about how writers should get out of bed every morning and just write. It doesn’t matter what you write. What matters is the physical act of writing. It’s supposed to get the juices flowing and the ideas churning and finally, when you least expect it, brilliance flies from your fingertips right to your keyboard and the great American novel is born. (LOL!)

I can’t remember the name of the book but I vaguely recall it was something along the lines of The Art of Writing, or maybe something sorta like that. Anyway, the gist of it was that if you want to be a writer, you have to be intentional about it. You can’t just sit down and start typing gibberish. (What?)

Carrying on …

I would share with you the actual title of that book except that I must have given it away (maybe to Goodwill) because I sure can’t find it on any of my bookshelves and I just wasted a good five minutes searching for it. I did come across a couple of other reads, however, that you might find interesting.

The first is What Is Karma?  by Paul Brunton. It caught my eye as I was scanning the shelves because I’m pretty sure tonight’s writer’s block is really just payback for giving away that other book.

The second is Calendar Humanity’s Epic Struggle to Determine a True and Accurate Year by David Ewing Duncan. This is a fascinating little book and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning about how we got to where we are today. Seriously, it’s a page-turner. (And, no, I’m not being sarcastic. Promise!)

When all else fails …

I spent another 5 minutes scanning Amazon.com for a title about writing that looked familiar but no luck. Did you know there are about a gazillion books out there that explain writing everything from books to screenplays?

I did come across a couple of interesting titles that might be worth taking a peek at, for example:

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Creative Writing, 2nd Edition by Laurie E. Rozakis

Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara

I have to fess up that I’ve not read either of these books. I also have to admit that I just love the titles so I might one day.

Maybe.

Looking at the world through new eyes!

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I started wearing reading glasses at nineteen. The kind old folks need to be able see menus, etc. I remember being a bit appalled at the time that I had eyes that were decades older than the rest of me.

No sooner did I catch up with my tired old eyes, than I needed cataract surgery — last week on my left eye and my right eye yesterday. What cataract surgery means, in case you’re not familiar with the process, is that my eyes received lens replacements. Now I can see better than I did when I was 18. Which means, ironically, that my eyes are now decades younger than the rest of me. Life is just weird sometimes.

Must be magic

What’s amazing to me is that medical science has come so far along in the last few decades that something like cataracts, which used to gradually make people blind, can now be removed along with the lens God gave us and an artificial lens, that is much like the contacts I’ve worn, can be implanted in its place and, voila, I can see 20/20 — like a kid again.

Now, if they could just magically whisk away my tired old muscles and saggy butt, I’d be all set. Only way I know of to fix that, however, is to walk, walk, and walk some more. So, back to the diet and exercise routine I gave up a decade ago.

Time to get this old girl in shape again.

No more excuses.

The rest of me needs to catch up with my eyeballs.

Credit where credit is due …

I have to admit that I was pretty nervous about having cataract surgery. My sweet sister Rosie, though, stuck with me through all of it and helped me keep it all in perspective (no pun intended). She has been my rock the last few weeks and I thank her more than she’ll ever know. (Even though she did make fun of me when I was high on oxygen and couldn’t stop giggling.)

The medical professionals who have guided me through this process have been wonderful. Their kindness and patience (even though I was late for two appointments) helped me cope with what was, for me, two very scary medical procedures. They are the best and I thank them for all they’ve done for me.

In fact, my hat is off to all the wonderful folks at Stones River Eye Center in Murfreesboro Tennessee.

For sale … cheap!

  • 1 Pair of multi-focal eyeglasses, in good condition
  • 1 Pair of clip-on sunglasses, tinted green
  • 3 Pairs of multi-focal contacts, one pair slightly used
  • 2 Pairs of single focus contacts (been in drawer for about three years so may be a little gummy by now)
  • Miscellaneous eyeglass cases, contact lens cases, eye drops, lens cleaners, contacts cleaners, etc.

… oh, wait, it is a poke in the eye!

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You’ve heard the expression, it beats a poke in the eye? Well, after the cataract surgery on my left eye yesterday, I can safely say that there are a whole world of things out there that beat a poke in the eye.

Golly but that smarts!

I didn’t expect it to be fun and games but I have to admit that I wasn’t prepared for how sore my eye was going to be. It’s finally down to only a twinge here and there so, all things considered, it wasn’t really too awful. It’s a good thing too, otherwise, there would be a bunch of folks wandering around permanently with only one eye free of cataracts.

The best thing about the whole ordeal is that I can see with my left eye without glasses or contacts. I can even read small print. Not tiny print, not yet, but chances are, I’ll get there too.

Now, the scoop (no pun intended, well maybe a little one) on cataract surgery …

First, they set you up with oxygen

I have to say I’m not a big fan of that. It makes you a bit light-headed and I had to ask them to turn it down a bit because, at first, it was like having a fan blowing up my nose. Too much of a good thing and hard to breathe it all in.

Then comes the eye drops

… about a gazillion of them.They keep those babies coming for about an hour to make sure your eyeball can feel no pain. That’s a good thing in my book.

Followed by the duct tape

What, you didn’t know your eyeballs are secured with duct tape?  Just kidding! When the eye can feel no pain, they wheel you into the op room. You’re awake during this procedure and they have to make sure you don’t move around during it so they wedge your arms in next to your sides and then tape your head to the table. It’s probably not really duct tape. It’s probably just some really expensive version of it. Okay! I didn’t actually see the tape but it sure sounded like duct tape when they peeled a big strip of it off that roll.

And then, the poke in the eye

Next, they put a clear plastic cover over your face leaving only a small hole where your eye is. Then they poke a small slit in your eye, suck out the old lens, pop in a new one, and wham-bam  you’re done. The surgery itself takes less than 10 minutes. Yep, it’s a quickie.

The black hole

There is just a few moments, before the new lens is implanted, when you are blind in that eye. That is by far the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had. The light just disappears. Total blackness. That was very disconcerting to me and frightening. Fortunately, though, they had given me a strong enough tranquilizer to keep panic from taking over during that blackout.

The bitter end

The buzz from all that oxygen and tranquilizers lasts for maybe half an hour. Then they push you out the door with a whole bunch of instructions about eye drops and you’re on you own.

It pays to be prepared

I watched a couple of cataract removal videos on YouTube a few days before the procedure so was prepared for what would happen. If I hadn’t done that, I’m pretty sure no amount of fuzzy brain stuff on the planet would have kept me from having a panic attack when they came at my face with that plastic.

If you want to watch some of them on YouTube, click here. (NOTE: If you’re the squeamish type, don’t watch these videos.)

Aren’t they fascinating? No? Oh, well.

Momma told me not to …

The funny thing about this little adventure is that a lot of things happen that your mom told you to never do. For instance:

  • Never take drugs from strangers
  • Never put a plastic bag over your head
  • Never, ever, poke your eye with a sharp instrument

Now, isn’t that ironic? The very things your mom says never do and what to you do? You go out and pay somebody to do those same things.

What a silly, silly world in which we live.

A big THANK YOU to my sister for driving me to and from.

You can read her version of this adventure here. (I may never forgive her for those pics.)